OK, before I re-draft again or go on and on ad nauseum....
I had a moment over the weekend - I just stopped and said “Wow, I’m really back”. It was a feeling that I have had a lot lately, but this one just stopped me in my tracks. I don’t need to peek back at my older blog posts or the volumes of paper journals to know - things are definitely much better. Certain situations are not resolved (nor will they ever be) but they are no longer in the front and center of my being as they used to be. The whirlwind has let me go/I have gotten out of it.
And I know that there is no answer to the evil question - What do you do when the one person that can fix things is the one who broke them in the first place? Sometimes all you want is the embrace that makes you believe that all is right with the world (even though it is beyond f*#ked up).
The feeling has slowly materialized from a whole bunch of sources and some have been more help than they realize. Some of it came from within – adjusting the life plan yet again - it took a while to get there (especially given what happened).
You are still the ying to my yang and one of the few on the planet who totally gets me, but your importance level has drastically diminished. Even you know that - it has been brutally obvious in the past months. You are one of my best friends and we will be in each other’s lives, but not like we used to be. Bye my dear, I'm staying in New England.....
3 comments:
you know that we won't let you leave New England anyway ;)
Who would save you from being murdered by James anyway? ;)
....on a serious note, glad to hear that you are finding resolution :)
That's right - I forgot that the murder factor was still around...hmm....I still think that he may be scared to lose an eyebrow - I will use that as my defense!!
I'm with Michele - there is no way in heck we'd let you leave New England now! Who would keep me out of trouble / get me into trouble?
I'm very glad to hear that you're finally finding your way through that difficult periods. Don't forget your own advice - all things happen for a reason and boys are stupid.
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